the clown's love for the light




it quite well fits that
you see
Popov started his career on the slack wire
basically only to earn some money
                                     
                                          probably it’s just the year in which we were born
yeah, you just do clown, I do my painting
                                     let’s not make a problem out of ourselves
go go Popov, catch the light

I’ll have to make some money jobs now
                         stop the dark thoughts

                         don’t think like that
                         don’t think about the past
                         don’t even think about the present
                         think about the future

                                                 but me and Hans Schnier
                                                
                                                 we suffer from “melancholia & migraine”
             of course you suffer
            
                                             why are people scared of clowns
why are clowns no longer clowns when nobody fears them

the clown has no life in the future – the future will be without suffer – mankind works hard to overcome it – clown dies in spotlight
                                                 go go Popov catch the light
right where we
stand
now
here
go
absorbing the light is the kind of love that’s asocial                        I have
a communication problem

                                                             maybe
                                                             there will be need for a clown
                  (Popov started his career on the slack wire)
in the hotel







So clowns stops to be clown when nobody fears them... Why? Because clowns ought to go against the grain, they have to be a little bit unpleasant and to rock the boat; it’s their task. In our time, the old ‘circus clown’ type is often criticized for scaring people (mainly children) and there are a lot of performances that take some aspects of the clown, but nothing that could be shocking anybody. The whole family will like it. “Don’t worry, nobody will get upset”. And I ask myself the question why nobody dares to feel upset actually. There seems to be a kind of obsession with suppressing fear in our society. But the reason why a clown can really heal something or have a lasting impact actually is that you are first a bit afraid and then feel relieved because what you feared didn’t really happen, or was not as bad as you thought. And we actually grow from that, our human hearts get a bit bigger from it. Sometimes I really have the feeling that our fear of being afraid really is worse than the real feeling of being afraid would be if we gave it the chance to be felt. Because you know, fear is not only, not always, our enemy. Sometimes I blame myself for deciding not to do something because I feel to afraid to do it. But I wonder what would happen if I would dare to really feel that feeling and ask myself what it’s telling me. Is it only pleasant excitement then do it. Is it, on the other hand, real and big fear, what’s wrong with staying away from it? Our emotions are our compass. We don’t have to do or dare everything, who told us that? When we would only do the things we really dare, what would we win from it? Maybe that we find ourselves, after a while, doing the things we really yearn for, we really want to do. Like Popov hesitates, does he really dare to catch the light? Would that not be offending anybody, would nobody consider it egocentric or asocial? But then he decides that his love for the light is bigger than his fear for what people might think of it. And that’s what it actually takes to be a clown. That’s what it actually takes to follow your heart’s desire. Might be that it’s considered egocentric by some. Swallow it when it’s worth it! Because maybe Popov still has his beloved light after the spotlight of the circus faded and everybody went home and maybe that’s what makes it possible for him to share the gift of his performance day after day with the audience.
 












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